I found this on a website, supposedly an answer to the Proust Questionnaire (which I’ve obviously done before, as I’m something of a list/questionnaire freak).
Please feel free to copy this and do it by yourself, taking into account the only rule:
Spend no more than a minute on each, and an hour in total. However, don’t keep checking your watch: “let writing define time.”
Off we go.
The Weird Questionnaire
1: Write the first sentence of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.
The sea horizon burned.
2: Without looking at your watch: what time is it?
3: Look at your watch. What time is it?
4: How do you explain this—or these—discrepancy(ies) in time?
I don’t like even numbers.
5: Do you believe in meteorological predictions?
Similarly to news, they are more or less out of my sphere of interest. I don’t really have an opinion.
6: Do you believe in astrological predictions?
7: Do you gaze at the sky and stars by night?
Very often. I have a stupid and rather dangerous habit of sitting on the window sill at night, dangling my legs like a retarded/suicidal kid.
8: What do you think of the sky and stars by night?
Very beautiful. Yet another thing people shouldn’t overlook.
9: What were you looking at before starting this questionnaire?
An infamous painting of Saint Sebastian.
10: What do cathedrals, churches, mosques, shrines, synagogues, and other religious monuments inspire in you?
It depends on the type of building. Not religious feelings, anyway, at least not as the word is commonly used. I’ve never entered a synagogue, so it’s curiosity for that one. Shrines – nothing, mosques – some sort of reluctance, as if I were intruding, as if I were someplace I shouldn’t be. I find cathedrals to be an amazing symbol, but it’s hard to describe how/of what. They ‘feel’ like Byron and Rilke.
11: What would you have “seen” if you’d been blind?
That funny light that plays in the eyes of people/on forest leaves, during the summer.
12: What would you want to see if you were blind?
Words. Lightning. Eyes. Clavicles.
13: Are you afraid?
I try not to.
14: What of?
Not much. The average stuff.
15: What is the last weird film you’ve seen?
Last Days, Gus van Sant.
16: Whom are you afraid of?
17: Have you ever been lost?
Often. I quite enjoy it.
18: Do you believe in ghosts?
19: What is a ghost?
A white ghastly mass.
20: At this very moment, what sound(s) can you here, apart from the computer?
My brother speaking, my cat purring, the wind howling outside.
21: What is the most terrifying sound you’ve ever heard: for example, “the night was like the cry of a wolf”?
Nails on blackboard, forks on plates, people crying.
22: Have you done something weird today or in the last few days?
Nothing special. I walked through the rain despite having an umbrella with me and ran for half my way home because the song I listened to was very run-ish.
23: Have you ever been to confession?
24: You’re at confession, so confess the unspeakable.
Hmm. A silly secret. Oh, over here, you have to confess stuff while sitting under the priest’s uhm shiny-apron-like thingie. First time I went, I spent all of it playing with the candle in my hands, trying to set fire to his clothes.
25: Without cheating: what is a “cabinet of curiosities”?
I assume it’s some sort of collection of weird stuff? Dunno.
26: Do you believe in redemption?
An individual, self-caused one, I guess.
27: Have you dreamed tonight?
Yes, it was a long, epic thing, but I only remember parts of it.
28: Do you remember your dreams?
Most of the time. I always do my best to remember them in the morning.
29: What was your last dream?
30: What does fog make you think of?
Mr Dickens and how I failed my interview, unfortunately.
31: Do you believe in animals that don’t exist?
Define ‘believe’. I’d say I do.
32: What do you see on the walls of the room where you are?
A Disney clock, a black dreamcatcher, a calendar with paintings of fairies.
33: If you became a magician, what would be the first thing you’d do?
Magically produce thousands of white doves.
34: What is a madman?
That’s definitely something relative.
35: Are you mad?
A tiny bit. I want to write, so.
36: Do you believe in the existence of secret societies?
Aye. Plus, believing in that makes life a tad more interesting.
37: What was the last weird book you read?
Orlando, by Virginia Woolf. But it was a good type of weird.
38: Would you like to live in a castle?
During the summer, I think so.
39: Have you seen something weird today?
Yes. I was buying some stamps from the post office and there was this woman, staring at me, her mouth wide open. I kept looking at her from the corner of my eye, eventually got annoyed, stared back. She never closed her mouth; it was a perfect O.
40: What is the weirdest film you’ve ever seen?
A Serbian Film. That, and maybe Blowup.
41: Would you like to live in an abandoned train station?
42: Can you see the future?
No, but I could do some guesswork.
43: Have you considered living abroad?
I intend to do that, actually.
England, Scotland, Ireland, Norway, Finland, France, Spain, Portugal, Australia, Alaska, Canada, some others.
I rarely feel like home here.
46: What is the weirdest film you’ve ever owned?
47: Would you liked to have lived in a vicarage?
48: What is the weirdest book you’ve ever read?
The Hearing Trumpet, Leonora Carrington.
49: Which do you like better, globes or hourglasses?
50: Which do you like better, antique magnifying glasses or bladed weapons?
Antique magnifying glasses.
51: What, in all likelihood, lies in the depths of Loch Ness?
Water of a fascinating colour. I imagine it as glimmering faintly – it must be my very own personal version of the monster.
52: Do you like taxidermied animals?
53: Do you like walking in the rain?
54: What goes on in tunnels?
I often wonder that.
55: What do you look at when you look away from this questionnaire?
My cup of tea and, shamefully, Facebook.
56: What does this famous line inspire in you: “And when he had crossed the bridge, the phantoms came to meet him.”?
57: Without cheating: where is that famous line from?
58: Do you like walking in graveyards or the woods by night?
I certainly do, by day. Never tried it by night, but would probably like it.
58: Write the last line of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.
Her spine; Copernicus; the stars.
59: Without looking at your watch: what time is it?
60: Look at your watch. What time is it?